Picture this: For years, you’re working on yourself, doing all sorts of therapy, healing ceremonies, meditations, and other obscure practices, only to find yourself triggered by an unforeseen event and back in a rut.
You thought you figured out all your relationship issues and believed you were ready for The One, only to repeat the same patterns and end up frustrated and more self-critical than ever.
Then, on top of everything, your mind gives you unsolicited advice: I should know better by now.
When you believe that voice in your head, it’s easy to feel defeated and lose sight of…
So often when we experience a difficult emotion we hear: just feel it.
I mean, I work as an Embodiment Coach, I myself, say it to my clients all the time! And I give myself the very same advice also, because yes, it is true:
Feeling it is healing it.
But, there is a trap that many people miss.
When people speak of feeling it, they mean a very skillful way of feeling. That skill is something that can’t be really learned, at least not through the mind. …
Whenever I start a painting, I have no idea where it will take me. Often it’s just a sense of something…An impulse that wants to be expressed. A sensation or feeling that longs to be acknowledged or felt.
I don’t even know what it is, just this itch in my fingertips that wants to be scratched.
And it’s at this moment that there is an opportunity to either say Yes or No.
We can be willing to explore, to follow its coaxing us out of our mind into our adventurous self, or we can stay in our status quo and…
Many of us don’t see ourselves as creative. Or even if we do we might have a feeling of being stuck in our creativity. It may be something we feel we would like more of, something that we long for but don’t really know how to get.
That was my story exactly.
As a kid I used to draw, paint, sing and dance and express myself in whatever way possible. All the time!
Then, somewhere between school and becoming a ‘responsible adult’, the seriousness of life started. And my creative spark began shriveling away.
I could still feel it there…
My journey of healing started many years ago when I was in Australia. I remember that back then I was so full of anxiety that oftentimes I even found it hard to get out of bed. To make it worse, I judged myself for it a lot.
How could I not? After all, what was wrong with me?! I hadn’t suffered ‘major’ trauma during childhood, my parents were loving (to their best abilities at least) and I grew up in a safe environment with enough food every day. So why couldn’t I simply be normal? …
I remember that time when I picked up painting again after ten years of not touching it. It was painful.
First I pulled out my canvases, bought some cheap acrylic paints and brushes, and then…waited till they accumulated dust and my inner critic was able to have the best party ever:
‘See, you said you would paint, and here you are, you loser, you will never get there! You are not an artist, just forget it!’
Why was it so hard to just start? Why was there so much resistance to doing what I remembered I loved doing?
I believe that our creativity is essential to our well-being, but before I explain why, I would first love to share my story with you.
I remember that when I was growing up, I was always doodling everywhere and it became something of an intrinsic part of me. Yet, I also had quite a clever left brain: I was good at maths, grammar, and other more linear and logical areas. So I never really saw myself as a creative.
Guess which parts were encouraged by my surroundings?
Well, I don’t want to blame anyone, but what happened next is that…
If there was one fundamental principle that I would recommend to anyone starting (or continuing) on a journey of personal growth it would be ‘work on your boundaries’.
When I look around me at people’s lives (and my own), it’s the inability to speak their truth that gets people most into trouble. It’s the moments when people say yes, but actually mean no, that slowly erodes (or better said: never allows to develop) their healthy relationship to self.
How often have we been there? We don't feel like doing something and yet we can not get ourselves to say that…
I have recently met the love of my life. Every morning I wake up feeling surprised at how right it feels. At the inner knowing in my body that each time I check-in, simply says a big full YES.
I never had that before. And the novelty of it keeps surprising me…really? Is this really happening?
In all my past relationships, of course, I went through the ‘in-love’ stage first before reality started to hit the ground and interesting dynamics to assert themselves. Probably the same will happen here.
Same same but different. Because as much as I believe that…
I am a firm believer in the power of acknowledgment and at every end of the year, as a ritual, I write down the big things that happened that year.
The act of writing down my year and distilling the essence is important as it helps me to choose the story I want to tell myself about it. It makes me smile at my accomplishments and makes me leave the old year with a sense of pride. It grounds me in a sense of gratitude towards myself and life and fills my heart with excitement for the new, that is…